And it’s not just a burden on our shoulder- every time someone thinks “she doesn’t really know that,” or “women in power are so bitchy” they are playing into the social stereotypes of making women in the public eye self-conscious for what they say and know. Whereas, we rarely give men that much scrutiny. Not that we should all start bullshitting about things we don’t know about- but more- let’s be honest in our criticism. Do we question men who speak at conferences as roughly as we do women? Or do we just turn away and decide not to listen?

I was at a party as a precursor to She’s Geeky weekend, and an old friend started criticizing a female speaker as, “well she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” It really pissed me off, as 1) the speaker did 2) the old friend had no idea what she was talking about 3) she was passing on her husband’s views without thinking. It was sad, and yet another way that we fall into this world view of taking down women in power, or women in the spotlight. I new the backstory- her husband was jealous that this woman was getting more speaking opportunities. It was petty, and her passing on the information in a kind of conspiratoral gossipy way was classic, and sad, too.

I agree that women don’t self-promote that well, and it’s something I strive to do with friends, buoy them up and give them confidence to present their ideas. I try to attend almost all the talks my friends give, because as an audience member, we can help almost as much as being another speaker at the event.

For an easier version, get hold of the Martin Clunes version of Goodbye Mr Chips. The teacher teasing a boy for being called Colly is what Clay is talking about. The whole story is your answer.